Thursday, January 24, 2008

Tools you use

In preparation for Zamazaan work days, you should know the use of the following tools:

DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly stained heirloom piece you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say..... "Oh sh--!!!"

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL:
Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
SKILL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
NOTE: Most often the tool used by all women.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing projects.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of
your hand.

WELDING GLOVES:
Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conductor of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS:
Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or socket you've been searching for the last
45 minutes.

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity and operator reflexes/dodging capabilities.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4:
Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS:
A tool for removing all types of wood splinters (see EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4) and wire wheel debris.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR:
A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

RADIAL ARM SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to scare beginners into choosing another line of work.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER:
A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS:
See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT:
The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D (the sunshine vitamin), which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105 mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as
the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

NOTE: Women excel at using this tool.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

AIR COMPRESSOR:
A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusted bolts which were last over tightened 30 years ago by someone at Ford, and instantly rounds off their heads. Also used to quickly snap off lug nuts.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are
trying to hit.

NOTE: Women primarily use it to make gaping holes in walls when hanging pictures.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.
NOTE: Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but
only while in use.

DAMMIT TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT!!" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you
will need.

NOTICE OF RACE

THE GOLDEN GATE YACHT CLUB’S
37th MANUEL FAGUNDES SEAWEED SOUP REGATTA #4
Next Saturday – February 2nd

First warning 1130 hours.

You will need to be at the boat no later than 10:00

Please advise me as soon as possible your intention to race!

For your advanced information, we are currently organizing a great sailing schedule for 2008 - Tentavily as follows:
Saturday February 2nd – GGYC Seaweed Soup Regatta (Midwinter #4)
Saturday February 16th and Sunday 17th Corinthian Midwinter #3, #4
Saturday March 1st – GGYC Seaweed Soup Regatta (Midwinter #5)
Saturday May 3rd and Sunday May 4th – Vallejo Season Opener
Saturday May 17th and Sunday May 18th - StFYC Stone Cup
Saturday May 23rd – Spinnaker Cup – SFYC/MPYC
Saturday May 31st & Sunday June 1st – Santa Cruz Invitational
Delta Ditch - TBA
Friday August 1st through Sunday August 3rd – Aldo Alessio Regatta
Saturday August 30th through Monday September 1st (Labor Day Weekend)- SCYC Wind Jammers
Thursday September 11th through Sunday 14th – StFYC Rolex Big Boat Series

As you can see we still need to fill in some races for April/June, and confirm the dates for Delta Ditch. Stay tuned.

Hope to see you all next Saturday!

Also, we still need for someone to greese a winch prior to the next race – Biz, Might you be available with someones help?

ARRRRRRRR
Gary

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

CYC Midwinter Regatta

Saturday:
Abandoned


After valiant efforts by our loyal fleet of racers, many of whom attempted to keep their spirits up by making clever suggestions on the VHF or consuming their limited supplies of adult beverages, the Race Committee was compelled to abandon the race under RRS 35 even for the classes for which starts were attempted.

Sunday:


Results of this weekend’s race

Gary

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

3rd GGYC Seaweed Soup Regatta

Hi All: Golden Gate Y.C. did hold the race yesterday but it was pretty miserable out on the Bay until about 2pm when the race was over. Seven boats raced in PHRF 1 and about 20 boats overall. Glad we were not out there!! Also on Friday the high winds broke the St. Francis Y.C. flag pole on the race deck in half so the burgee is now flying from a halyard instead of a pig stick. Numerous limbs, leaves, etc. litter the parking lot which was also flooded from the high waves crashing over the bank. Also high waves caused the club to close the smoking area
outside the Grill Room. In the Trophy Lounge a nice photo of Zamazaan is displayed on the south wall and I think it was taken in the 2005 Big Boat Series. Looks good!...cheers

Biz

Sunday, January 6, 2008

22knots with gusts to 28knots



NOAA
TODAY...WIND WAVES 3 TO 6 FT. NW SWELL 20 TO 25 FT AT 16 SECONDS. SHOWERS AND CHANCE OF THUNDERSTORMS.

SF Weather
Today. Numerous showers and isolated thunderstorms. Mainly in the afternoon. Some thunderstorms may produce small hail. Highs in the lower 50s.

Current conditions at GG buoy (1:17pm): 22knots with gusts to 28knots – heavy rain with thunderstorms.

Now, aren’t you glad you’re not sailing today !

Gary

Storm of the Century Downs Zamazaan

Dateline San Francisco Friday January 4th 2:20pm

Weather Report:

Today. Rain in the morning. Slight chance of thunderstorms through the day. Rain likely in the afternoon. Rain may be heavy at times in the morning. Highs in the lower 50s. South winds 30 to 45 mph with gusts to around 60 mph.

Tonight. Slight chance of thunderstorms in the evening. Showers through the night. Lows in the mid to upper 40s. Southwest winds 20 to 30 mph.

Saturday. Numerous showers and scattered thunderstorms. Highs around 50. West winds 15 to 20 mph.

Saturday night. Numerous showers and scattered thunderstorms. Lows in the mid 40s. Southwest winds around 20 mph. Areal coverage of precipitation 70 percent.

Given the storm conditions, the decision has been taken in advance for all of you die hard sailors to cancel tomorrow’s participation in the 3rd GGYC Seaweed Soup Regatta. I believe that it is highly unlikely that the GGYC will schedule the race tomorrow, and therefore in order to let you sleep in and have a day by the fire or whatever you do; again, Zamazaan shall stand down.

Have a great stormy weekend by the fire, and drink a cup of Irish coffee for me

See Ya next time

Gary

P.S. Here’s a great recipe for Christmas cookies that you could make over the weekend.

Christmas Tequila Cookies

1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (two sticks) butter
1 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit (dried cranberries or raisins)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as desired)

First, sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl. Check the Cuervo to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour another 4 ounces in a measuring cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of the butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar. Beat again.
At this point, it is best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK.

Try another 4 ounces, just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, picking the frigging fruit off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt or something. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas.